Looks like the New Year Post took long enough.

Well, I guess it took too long, didn't it? Whether I liked it or not, it took too long indeed.

So, howdy.

How's the year treating you so far? I hope so far you're doing well. I wish I could report on the fast-paced life I'm leading, but it's a little far from that. No, strike that...it' the same in many ways, but it's neither here nor there.

As I said a few months ago, I joined the Facebook back in November 2009 to reconnect to an old friend as well as keep people updated about Dad. I've been able to find missing friends and reconnect to a lot of people I knew at different stages of my life. I've even been able to reconnect to my half-sisters in Kentucky, giving me a semblance of being able to share in their lives. It's one of those things that I've been able to say has worked.

Last week, I found one of my friends when I was kid who I've been looking for. That was a good experience, and I've both added him to my friendship list and also sent him a note to just say 'Hey'. I guess in many ways, I'm getting nostalgic as I often do around this time of the year to try and find the people who passed out of my life.

That's an odd expression, isn't it? To say someone 'passes' out of your life sounds like that it's all random moments of interaction bound up in consistent relationships. As a student of human interaction, it's interesting to see how it is we ultimately influence those around us, and how we change and are changed by those we influence.

I wish I could say that it's all wine and roses, and that finding the people who were in my life was as easy as keeping them there. I've lamented the loss of those relationships, felt blame and guilt for hurting them, and angry when they've turned neglectful. I've been thankful for them, and deeply saddened in their ultimate passing, but I think that over-all, the thing that escapes me is the chances to say goodbye properly and/or to end things on a good note.

Endings. Now there is a topic I think I could devote half a dozen posts about, on how a casual word or inconsiderate action ends things between people. We're all guilty of those moments, and while we don't always see that fact or even accept it until it is too late, it's still a thing that bonds every one of us to one another. We all have been guilty, but in that guilt is a chance to assuage and make amends. It takes two to argue, but it only takes one person to be culpable of being hurtful to others, if not themselves.

I suppose I'm waxing poetic to the fact that I'm basically seeing things end and begin all over again. I'm a strong believer in cyclical relationships, that is to say, the philosophy that everything in life is cyclical and plays out time and again. I think growth truly comes from understanding that fact and changing the course of the cycle to prevent the mistakes made previously. I think that sums up everything pretty well, and a cornerstone of my philosophical makeup. If we can't recognize things, we lose...simple as that.

No, it's not just philosophy. It should be a corner perspective on how we seek to treat others, and that includes I guess making the attempt to reconnect with people who knew us when we were early teens. For myself, I do not regret that, nor do I regret simply letting go of some people who I can't hold onto for whatever reason. Some people you have to let go due to distance, others you have to let go because it's time, and still others you have to let go because the relationship is toxic. There is always hope to reclaim those relationships, as I do believe that time heals all wounds, but at the same time, some wounds leave terrible scars, and that can be enough to deter even the most determined individual.

So, a little off-topic. I should perhaps say something about the state of the world, how jaded I feel that we've become media-wise, or how such things impact the tides and/or the beliefs of society, but that's not the purpose here. It's the 'Fortress of the Forbidden Mind', not the 'Political-Social-religious' blog.

More Later

-M-